It’s like your mother and father taking you to a park and leaving you there. No explanation.
It’s like going to the emergency room and being asked about your family health history and your answer is always “I don’t know, I’m adopted”.
It’s knowing that at 3 days old, a strange man and woman, got to call you their daughter. It’s not ever having the choice.
It’s going through trauma that could have been avoided if I had remained with my birth mother (she now has 2 kids).
It’s the always being the photographer because I don’t see myself fitting in anywhere I go.
It’s always feeling like an outcast in my own family.
It’s holding on to the anger and resentment even though I’ve been working on healing this part of myself for years.
It’s fearing the abandonment of a future partner and thinking really hard about having a family with them because what if they leave me?
It’s trying not to repeat the same patterns when in a relationship but creating new patterns out of fear.
It’s not trusting absolutely anybody with my heart, even at my 25 years of age.
It’s the desire to be loved wholeheartedly while fearing the pain that love can bring. And knowing that I will never be loved properly if I don’t open up my heart, which allows for a new heart break as well.
Blooming With Flo 